You handed your child an iPhone. Now you need to lock it down. The good news: Apple gives you a solid set of built-in tools. The bad news: those tools are buried across five different settings screens, and the defaults protect almost nothing. This guide shows you exactly how to put parental controls on iPhone — every setting, every screen, in the right order — so you can set it up once and manage it remotely from your own device.

Whether your child is 6 or 16, the process starts in the same place: Family Sharing. From there, you will configure how to set parental controls on iPhone through Screen Time, Content Restrictions, Communication Limits, and Ask to Buy. Each section below walks through the exact steps with the menu paths you need to follow.

Before You Start: Family Sharing and Your Child’s Apple Account

Every parental control on iPhone depends on Family Sharing. Without it, you cannot manage your child’s Screen Time remotely, approve their app downloads, or enforce content restrictions from your own device. This is the foundation — skip it and nothing else works properly.

What Family Sharing does

Family Sharing links up to six Apple Accounts into a single family group. Once your child’s account is part of your family, you get remote access to their Screen Time settings, automatic Ask to Buy prompts, shared subscriptions, and location sharing through Find My. It costs nothing and takes about five minutes to set up.

Setting up Family Sharing

Step 1: Open Family Sharing on your iPhone. Go to Settings > your name > Family Sharing. If you have never used it, tap Set Up Your Family.
Step 2: Add your child. Tap Add Member. If your child is under 13 and does not have an Apple Account, choose Create a Child Account. Apple will walk you through creating an account tied to your family group. If your child already has an Apple Account, tap Invite People and send the invitation.
Step 3: Verify the account appears in your family. Go back to Settings > your name > Family Sharing and confirm your child’s name appears in the member list. Their Screen Time settings will now show up under your own Screen Time menu.
If your child already has their own Apple ID: They may have created one using a fake birthdate (making them appear over 18 in Apple’s system). In this case, you cannot add them as a child. You will need to either change their birthdate through Apple Support or create a new child account and migrate their data.

Under 13 vs. 13–17: What Apple treats differently

Apple draws a hard line at age 13 (it varies by country). Children under 13 must have a child Apple Account created by a parent — they cannot create one on their own. Apple Screen Time parental controls are automatically enabled for these accounts, and Ask to Buy is turned on by default.

Teens 13 to 17 have more autonomy. They can create their own Apple Account, and Apple gives them the ability to request changes to restrictions. You can still manage their Screen Time remotely through Family Sharing, but some settings require their cooperation rather than your unilateral control.

How to Turn On Screen Time for Your Child’s iPhone

With Family Sharing in place, you can now enable and configure Screen Time on your child’s device without touching their phone. Here is how to turn on parental controls on iPhone through Screen Time.

Step 1: Open Screen Time settings for your child. On your iPhone, go to Settings > Screen Time. Under the “Family” section, tap your child’s name.
Step 2: Turn on Screen Time. If Screen Time is not already enabled, tap Turn On Screen Time. Follow the prompts to set it up as a parent (this matters — it ensures you have the management passcode).
Step 3: Set a Screen Time passcode. You will be prompted to create a four-digit Screen Time passcode. This is separate from the device passcode. Your child will need this code to override any limits, so choose something they cannot guess. Do not use their birthday or 1234.
Step 4: Review the Screen Time dashboard. Once enabled, you will see a daily usage summary, most-used apps, and pickup frequency. This data helps you understand your child’s actual usage patterns before you start setting limits.
Pro tip: Monitor for a week before setting limits. The Screen Time dashboard shows you exactly which apps consume the most time. Set limits based on real data, not assumptions — it makes the rules feel fairer to your child.

App Limits and Downtime: Control When and How Long

Screen Time gives you two primary time-based controls: App Limits (how long per day) and Downtime (when the device is off-limits entirely). Together, they cover most of what parents need for basic iphone parental controls around daily usage.

Setting App Limits

Step 1: Go to App Limits. In your child’s Screen Time settings, tap App Limits > Add Limit.
Step 2: Choose categories or specific apps. You can set limits by category (Social, Games, Entertainment) or drill into specific apps. For most families, category-based limits are easier to manage. For example: Social — 30 minutes, Games — 1 hour.
Step 3: Set the daily time allowance. Choose the number of hours and minutes per day. You can also tap Customize Days to set different limits for weekdays and weekends.
Step 4: Toggle “Block at End of Limit.” This is the critical setting. If you leave it off, the limit is just a notification — your child can dismiss it and keep using the app. Turn it on to actually enforce the limit. Your child will need the Screen Time passcode to get more time.

Setting Downtime

Step 1: Go to Downtime. In Screen Time settings, tap Downtime.
Step 2: Set the schedule. Choose Every Day or Customize Days. Most families set Downtime from bedtime (say, 8:30 PM) through the morning (7:00 AM). During Downtime, only apps you specifically allow and phone calls will work.
Step 3: Choose “Always Allowed” apps. Go back to Screen Time and tap Always Allowed. Add any apps your child should have access to even during Downtime — typically Phone, Messages, Maps, and any educational apps you trust.
Common mistake: Parents set App Limits but forget to enable “Block at End of Limit.” Without it, the limit is a suggestion, not a rule. Always toggle this on.

Content and Privacy Restrictions: The Settings Most Parents Miss

App Limits control how long your child uses their phone. Content and Privacy Restrictions control what they can access. This is where you filter explicit content, block adult websites, restrict app installations, and prevent changes to privacy settings. Most parents never touch these settings — and they are the ones that matter most.

Step 1: Enable Content & Privacy Restrictions. Go to Settings > Screen Time > your child’s name > Content & Privacy Restrictions. Toggle it on.

Content Restrictions worth setting

Privacy Restrictions

Under Privacy, you can lock down Location Services, Contacts, Photos, and Microphone access. The most important setting: prevent your child from changing their Location Services setting so you can always find them through Find My. Set it to “Don’t Allow Changes.”

For social media apps specifically, review our Instagram parental controls guide — each platform has its own in-app restrictions that work alongside Apple’s device-level controls.

Communication Limits: Control Who Your Child Can Contact

Communication Limits let you control who your child can call, text, and FaceTime — both during allowed screen time and during Downtime. This is a critical safety layer that many parents overlook when figuring out how to set up parental controls on iPhone for child over 13 or younger.

Step 1: Open Communication Limits. Go to Settings > Screen Time > your child’s name > Communication Limits.
Step 2: Set limits for allowed screen time. Choose who your child can communicate with during normal hours: Contacts Only, Contacts & Groups with at Least One Contact, or Everyone. For most children, “Contacts Only” is the right choice.
Step 3: Set limits during Downtime. During Downtime, you can restrict communication even further — for example, allowing only specific family members. This ensures your child is not texting friends at midnight.
Step 4: Manage your child’s contacts. Toggle Manage [child’s name]’s Contacts to prevent them from adding new contacts without your approval. This is especially important for younger children.
Important: Communication Limits only apply to Phone, FaceTime, Messages, and iCloud contacts. They do not restrict communication through third-party apps like WhatsApp, Snapchat, or Instagram DMs. For those, you need to use Content Restrictions to limit app access or block the apps entirely.

Ask to Buy: Approve Every App and Purchase

Ask to Buy sends you a notification every time your child tries to download an app (free or paid), make an in-app purchase, or buy media from the iTunes Store. You approve or decline from your own device. It is one of the simplest and most effective parental controls Apple offers.

Step 1: Enable Ask to Buy. Go to Settings > your name > Family Sharing. Tap your child’s name, then tap Ask to Buy and toggle it on.
Step 2: Respond to requests. When your child tries to download something, you will get a notification with the app name, rating, and price. Tap Approve or Decline. The download starts immediately on their device when approved.

For children under 13 with a child Apple Account, Ask to Buy is enabled by default. For teens 13 to 17, you need to turn it on manually — and they can request that you turn it off (though you have the final say).

What Ask to Buy catches

What it does not catch

What Changes When Your Child Turns 13

Apple treats the 13th birthday as a significant milestone. Several parental controls shift when your child’s Apple Account crosses this threshold. Understanding these changes helps you prepare instead of being surprised.

How iPhone parental controls differ for children under 13 vs. teens 13–17
Feature Under 13 13–17
Apple Account creation Must be created by parent Can create their own
Ask to Buy On by default, cannot be disabled by child Must be enabled manually; teen can request removal
Screen Time Parent has full remote control Parent has remote control; teen can request more time
Content Restrictions Fully parent-controlled Parent-controlled, but teen sees restriction details
Communication Limits Fully parent-controlled Parent-controlled; teen can request changes
Location sharing (Find My) Cannot opt out of family location sharing Can choose to stop sharing location
iCloud data access Parent can view and manage More privacy protections apply

Preparing for the transition

The shift at 13 does not mean you lose control. It means the dynamic changes from enforcement to negotiation. Here is what to do:

Why Built-In Controls Aren’t Enough

Apple’s parental controls are solid for setting boundaries. They tell your child’s phone what not to do. But they do not help your child want to follow those boundaries. This is the gap that every parent eventually notices: Screen Time can block an app at 60 minutes, but it cannot prevent the meltdown that follows.

The enforcement problem

Built-in controls work through restriction. Block this app. Limit that category. Shut down at bedtime. Every interaction your child has with these controls is negative — a notification that says “Time Limit Reached,” a greyed-out app icon, a locked screen. Over time, this creates a pattern where the phone becomes the enemy and you become the enforcer.

Children (especially ages 6 to 12) respond better to systems where they earn screen time rather than lose it. When finishing homework or completing a focus session unlocks 15 minutes of their favorite game, the motivation shifts from resentment to accomplishment.

What a complementary approach looks like

The best approach combines Apple’s built-in controls with a tool that adds the motivation layer. Apple handles the hard boundaries — content filtering, web restrictions, communication limits. A tool like Timily handles the daily experience — Focus Timer sessions that earn screen time, and Collaborative App Blocking where your child is part of the decision about which apps to limit.

The Focus Timer turns “put your phone down” into a structured session with a clear reward. Collaborative App Blocking lets your child help choose which distracting apps to block during focus time — so the restriction feels like their decision, not yours. The result: fewer battles, more buy-in, and the same boundaries you would have set anyway.

Bottom line: Use Apple’s controls as your safety net (content filtering, app restrictions, Downtime). Layer a motivation-based tool on top for the daily screen time management that actually shapes habits. Boundaries set the floor. Motivation builds the skills.